McDonald’s. The gold standard of fast food fries. Insanely consistent, crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside. McDonald’s has been delighting customers with its shoestring cut french fries for many years. No matter which McDonald’s chain you go to, it’s guaranteed that you will be getting the exact same product, every time, every place. McDonald’s does as good a job as any fast food restaurant in ensuring that their fries are fresh. Like any one though, there’s an occasional chance you’ll get a (relatively) stale batch. But even then, the taste isn’t compromised, just the temperature. I would estimate at around a 1/100 chance that you will get a batch that is salted too heavily to readily enjoy, and this is the only consistent weakness of McDonald’s. Even when it’s a normal amount of salt, it’s a bit heavier on it than is necessary. It’s not like their fries aren’t tasty enough to enjoy without it. But McDonald’s fries are standard fare, just taken to the ultimate level of consistency. And it’ll be a cold day in hell before you get something else than what you’re expecting.

Foundation: 1940

Location: Everywhere.

Sizes: Small, Medium, Large.

Prices: $1-2.

Cut: Shoestring

Salt: Moderate-Heavy.

Seasoning: None.

Condiments: Ketchup (but that’s for heathens).