I have never been to a TGI Friday’s before this last week. I’m typically not a huge fan of sit-in “pseudo-fancy” restaurants, the kind of places that try to act fancy, even if everybody knows they’re not. But I went here for a special occasion, and of course I had their fries. How were they? Before talking about quality, quantity is the big thing here. Frankly, the serving size was embarrassing. I was given a serving size for $1.99 of about 2/3 of a teacup of french fries. This is sad, and everybody should do better than this. With that out of the way, these fries were thin, a shoestring categorization, about 2/5/10. They were on the low end of crispiness for that style, about a 5/10 undifferentiated with regards to cut. The fries were hot and fresh, that much was good. Also were moderately seasoned, with some leafy seasoning, not a spicy seasoning like is more typical, but neither was it unpleasant in any way. The fries did have slight skins on the sides, but in all honesty, it was near impossible for me to get past the serving size. I wasn’t remotely full until I downed an entire milkshake for dessert.

Price: $1.99

Salt: Light, thick grained salt.

Seasoning: Moderate

Cut: Shoestring

A pizzeria serving fries? I’m surprised too! One day at lunch I was hungry and apparently this is a popular place to order delivery from, so I checked the menu, and hey! French fries! So I did what I normally do and got three of them. How were they? Given a slight adjustment for a half-hour delivery time, pretty good. Pretty normal characteristics, about a 5.5/10 thickness, and a 3.5/10 crispiness. As being expected, after the trip to my work, these fries weren’t totally fresh anymore, but to their credit, they didn’t become even slightly soggy either. These fries definitely had a hint of “fast food” style, with rough sides/edges. But they also had exposed skins on the sides, creating a somewhat unusual sensation. On top of that, there was for complete lack of a better explanation, a slight “country” taste to these fries. Possibly just from the frying oil being shared, but it works in this case. Pretty ordinary otherwise, no salt/seasoning and average to slightly below average serving size/price ratio, with a serving costing $2.89. I’m definitely curious to have these fries fresh from the place, rather than delivered. I’m interested in if they’re only slightly better, or borderline elite french fries. 

Price: $2.89

Salt/Seasoning: None

Cut: Straight cut.

This is undoubtedly the best name of any place that serves french fries I’ve come across (French Fry Heaven is probably better, but there’s none near me, the closest is in Cleveland..) Given a glorious name that truly provides a window to the royalty that french fries should place in a just society, how were they to eat? The answer, not so great, sadly. The fries are somewhat thicker than average, about the high end of a straight cut, about a 6.5/10. The fries are lightly salted, and have no seasoning. None of this is an issue. The issue is that the fries were either undercooked or cooked at a wrong temperature. The interior of the fries were very rubbery, not flaky or soft like a good fry should be. It’s just a slightly uncomfortable eating experience when fries are bordering on hard on the inside. That might be a bit of an exaggeration, but these were not cooked properly. It’s always a risk with thicker fries, but if you’re gonna use fries like that, you gotta do them right. Price was $4, and the serving size was average for that price. Quite a bit of fries, but not a bucketfull or anything.

Price: $4

Salt: Light

Seasoning: None

Cut: Thick Straight

In another exciting installment of “Work Food Trucks!!” we bring you Pitabilities. I’ve had them a few times before, but never got around to actually reviewing them. Now I am! Were these fries special? Actually, kinda. They were really unique among food truck fries I’ve had, in that they were both very consistent in taste, texture and cut, as well as having almost no excess grease, unlike so many food truck fries I’ve had before. These fries are true shoestring fries, only a thickness of about a 2/10, and are as crispy as you’d expect, given this. The crispiness is about a 7.5/10. Not so crispy that you’re at risk of thinking they’re overcooked, but suitably crispy. No salt and seasoning, but again, these fries don’t need it, they’re about as close as a food truck will get to being the platonic ideal of fries. Also, as to be expected, being made to order, they’re extremely hot and fresh. An average serving size, maybe even slightly better than average, costing $3. Basically, these fries are really good, and I hope they have a sit-in restaurant somewhere so I can try them out in person.

Salt/Seasoning: None

Cut: Shoestring

Price:$3.

Tee Jaye’s is a country food place. Kind of a mix between breakfast fare and a typical restaurant, with maybe a tiny bit of a steakhouse feel thrown in. I don’t know, that’s not my job to know. I had only been there once, before I even knew what good food was. So I headed back, on my normal mission to check out their fries. So, how were they? Pretty good. The fries were very warm and fresh, and had the slightly rough texture you might expect out of a place that serves country style food. They were fairly crispy fries, about a 6.5/10, and consequently they were slightly thinner than average too, around a 4/10. No salt and seasoning on these fries, but they were just fine without it. They were just distinctive enough on their own that it wasn’t necessary. The only downside was the somewhat small serving size/price ratio. The fries were $1.99, which is hardly bad, but the serving size was pretty small, even for that price (notable, the picture below is of a single serving. I have a habit of taking pictures of multiple servings, this was not the case here. The server doubled my hash brown order, instead of the fry. I ended up getting doubles of both, so it worked out!)

Price: $1.99

Salt/Seasoning: None

Cut: Straight (slightly thinner than average)

Okay, I have absolutely no idea how it took me this long to review this place. Chef-O-Nette is absolutely one of the iconic sit-down restaurant type places in Upper Arlington, and has probably been in Tremont Center for 50 years. I have never actually been there before, and this was the first time I ever set foot inside the place. So how was it? Quality wise, pretty good. Not outstanding, but worth spending a bit of time and money. The first thing that is immediately noticeable is that the mismatch in the exterior vs. interior crispiness. The exterior is very crispy and has that typical french fry crunch that is so beloved.  The interior on the other hand is super soft, not quite flaky but still softer than the normal fry. Note that my batch had a decent amount of crispiness variation, anywhere from a 4-6.5 crispiness seems about right for grading. The fries were very hot and fresh, and it makes sense. Being cooked at a high temperature for shorter periods of time is how you get a crispier outside/softer inside. The fries were lightly salted, with no seasoning. Very plain in this regard, probably could have been helped by a little extra… something. Aesthetically, the color was notable too. Very pale, a very light yellow with not a hint of golden brown. The major negative was the serving size/cost ratio. The picture below is a serving of three. A serving of one costs $2.69, and the serving of three fits on a single plate. This place definitely has the UA markup, and the fries probably aren’t quite good enough to justify it. But still, it’s not like these fries are anything worse than pretty good.

Cut: Moderate (6, Crinkle Cut)

Seasoning: None

Salt: Light

Price: $2.69

So, for the second entry in the food truck series, because work really does like to surprise me with cool things sometimes. The truck of the week was Philly Buster. And their fries were kind of like carnival fries, in fact the advertised name of the fries was “Fair Fries”, so it makes sense. But they were pretty thin, around 2.5 thickness, and not quite as crispy as that might normally indicate. They were very lightly salted, but the salt that was present was the thick salt, the kosher salt. This gave an extra texture to the fries that the limited addition of salt itself wouldn’t normally give, almost like more added texture than taste. The fries were a little bit rubbery, which usually happens when the fries/potatoes aren’t refrigerated when they’re stored. Not bad or good, just a different manner of storage (one that personally I don’t prefer, but what can you say). Skins were present on the sides of the fries, and it adds or detracts nothing from the fries.

Cut: Shoestring/Regular borderline

Seasoning: None

Salt: Very light (Kosher Salt)

Price: $4.00 (moderate/large serving size)