Okay, now this place is really fancy, and hip, and hipster, and all that stuff that normally drives me away. I went with a friend who lives down in this area, and likes to browse boutique coffee shops, and go clubbing, and generally act like a normal, urban person. That person… is not me. Which is why I got basically dragged here. But they did have french fries, and that was ultimately reason enough for me not to resist too much. How were they? As expected, the serving size was a bit small, for a place in the heart of the Short North, this isn’t grandma overflowing your plate here. Price was $3.50, for a normal fast-food styled paper holder. Which makes the serving size definitely small, but not quite obnoxiously so. Thickness is a 4/10, and crispiness is a 5.5/10, both perfectly within normal bounds. Light salt, but this is barely noticeable behind the fairly intense seasoning, quite similar to Rally’s seasoning, but stronger and it lingers more on the tongue. Fries were very hot and fresh, and even despite the seasoning being a bit too much, I get the feeling other people would appreciate it a lot. And the fries were still very good, and definitely cooked properly, like a place like this should be doing.

(Apologies: picture is not great quality)

Price: $3.50

Salt/Seasoning: Light Salt, strong seasoning, though not exactly a huge amount.

Cut: Straight

Buffalo Wild Wings is another of those type of sports food places where you go to eat wings, get a beer, and watch the game with friends and like-minded people. But they do also have fries, even if probably nobody ever gets them. Well, I went here for a night, and ordered several baskets of their fries. And now I think I have a good idea of their quality. Their fries are of the shoestring cut, and rating them it’d be about a 2.5/10. Moderately crispy fries, about a 5.5/10 make these pretty typical shoestring fries in the thick/crispy ratio. The fries were lightly salted, and had no seasoning. The interior was really nice, soft and flaky, without being chewy. Edges had a small amount of skins present, but not affecting taste in any way. The fries were split into two different basket sizes, the bigger one was $4.99, and this was probably a bit on the small side for servings, but pretty typical for a place like this. Fries were warm and fresh, but not piping hot like you always hope for. Still, these fries were good, and perfectly worthy of being eaten around your friends who for some reason like wings more.

Cut: Shoestring

Price:$4.99

Salt/Seasoning: Light salt, no seasoning.

I work out near Plain City. It’s kind of a cultural dead zone. Nothing fancy, nothing interesting. Though it’s near a bunch of culturally interesting places, it’s more of a well… plain kind of place. So this place is an ice cream stand, that looks and feels like a cheap knock off of Dairy Queen. But how are their fries? First, they’re shoestring fries, and at about 2.5 thickness out of 10, it’s a nice start. The fries are also not particularly crispy, a slightly unusual combination. And the fries do have a tendency to be a bit soggy in the middle. Not a huge minus, but notable. Fries cooked to order, and were very hot and fresh. $2.29 for a serving, a bit on the small side, but within the acceptable range. Very lightly salted fries, and no seasoning, make these a bit plain, but perfectly nice to go along with their ice cream, which is what they really want to be known for.

Price: $2.29

Cut: Shoestring

Salt/Seasoning: Very light salt, no seasoning.

Mother Cluckers is a place right down the street from my old house. It looks very shady, and who knows what’s actually going on in there, but they did have fries, and they do deliver. So that’s all I needed to know that I wanted to try them. Thickness was about a 4.5/10, and they were not particularly crispy, at about a 3/10. Very light seasoning, and no salt made these just not plain enough to be interesting. The big thing is that they look really bad, visually. A really dark color, and a lot of edge fries, makes it look like they didn’t care that much. But really, the taste was decent. They weren’t hot and fresh, only warm, but it was okay. Texture was slightly rough, and pictured below is a double fry, the biggest serving they had, priced at $5.99.  Probably not quite a good deal for that price, but they’re definitely trying to give out a lot of fries. Not the best fries I’ve had, and there’s a lot of better places to get good food around campus, but this place delivers at damn near any time, and they’re not bad if you’re looking for slightly junk style food. They do it well. Just not in any way the kind of fries you treat someone to, if they like the nicest stuff available.

Price: $5.99, slightly small serving for price.

Cut: Straight, slightly rough

Salt/Seasoning: Mild seasoning.

This is a food truck from my work, probably like the 5th or 6th unique one of these. Always a useful thing, because working hard makes me very hungry. This one I had never heard of before, and was pleasantly surprised that they even served fries. The first thing that stands out about these fries is that they are extremely heavily seasoned, both naturally and with add-ons. These fries are perfectly average in thickness, about a 5/10. Crispiness was about a 4.5, again, perfectly moderate. Cost of a serving was $3, which puts the serving size very slightly below average, but acceptable. No salt, as if these need it with all the seasoning present. And these fries were very hot and fresh, as expected from a food truck. One possible concern is that with how hot these are, there were some exposed interiors to the fries. If your tongue finds the wrong place, that can be quite uncomfortable, and even a mild burn could happen. A few of the fries had missing edges, but that’s purely an aesthetic thing, and has nothing to do with the taste, which was good although probably a bit more overpowering than it had to be.

Salt/Seasoning: HEAVY seasoning, no salt

Price: $3, slightly below average serving size.

Cut: Straight

Dirty Frank’s definitely fits into the cool places to eat for young adults like me. Silly named drinks, decor that is equal parts strange and hilarious, it’s a pretty neat place to be. I went here to celebrate two years of living on my own, with one of the best roommates you could hope for. But I also came here because I was told that their fries were really good. So I ate fries. Review as follows! Relatively thin fries, about a 3/10 thickness. Avove average crispiness, at a 6.5/10. The exterior of these fries was extremely hot and seemed really good, but the interior of the fries didn’t seem entirely fresh, even though they were still hot. They were ever so slightly hard in the middle, in a way that either signifies not fresh, or not cooked properly. And it was unlikely to be the latter. These were hand-cut style, with full skins on the fries. A lot of edge fries present, also evidence of hand-cut fries. The price was $2 for a good serving size, and no salt/seasoning present. Overall, pretty good, though probably not good enough to be a true hipster destination for the best a city has to offer.

Salt/Seasoning: None

Price: $2

Cut: Thin/regular, and hand-cut.

So, I’ve never been to Bob Evans. It’s not like I’ve never seen them around before. They’re pretty much everywhere in Columbus. But typically I like my breakfast food from mom and pop type places, and not big breakfast chains. But, considering I’d never been here before, it was past time to do so. How was the fries, you ask? Fairly plain, but perfectly solid french fries. They’re straight cut, and on the thinner end of this, at about a 3.5/10 thickness. Moderate crispiness, about a 5/10, and pretty good in this regard. The fries were served very hot and fresh, but upon cooling (just a little bit) a slight hint of what can only be described as “country” taste was noticeable. Probably an artifact of these fries having some skins on them, but it’s a very faint earthy taste, that adds just a little bit of interesting flavor to the fries. The only downside of these fries is that the oil probably hadn’t been changed in a while, because there was some crumbs on the fries, that comes from the oil having crumbs in it from previous batches of fries. No salt and seasoning, and who knows, it might have been interesting if there was. But still, good fries, especially for a primarily breakfast chain place. 

Salt/Seasoning: None

Serving size: Average, to slightly above average.

Price: $2.19

Cut: Straight